I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
