No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
