i always forget guys have bellybuttons
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
