next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
