I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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