the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize