She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
