i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
