i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
