Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
