Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
