you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
