I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize