Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
