My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
