Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
