i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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