do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
