I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
