how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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