pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
