I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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