and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
