dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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