Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
