i jhust puked up my retainher.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
