You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
