TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
