we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize