Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
