She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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