I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
