All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
