i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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