Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
