As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
