Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Randomize
