evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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