next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
