just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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