dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
