Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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