Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
