im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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