Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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