Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
