Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
