No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
