Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
