Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
