You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize