Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
