1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
