Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
