When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize