Nicole vs. Life
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
