i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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