She went from zero to smokin in five shots
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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