btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
