bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i now understand why vodka
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
