any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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