I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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