Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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