I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
