there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
