Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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