I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
