So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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