Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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