Me too!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
