I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
