at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
