Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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