We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
