ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
