I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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