I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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