Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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