GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize